Why Straightening My Hair is hard

The simple answer: because it's naturally curly.

The actual answer: because I feel like a big faker trying to act big.

Just about a year ago, I was introduced to the flat iron. Seriously. Until then, I thought all those movie stars and teenagers just knew how to do their hair. I had no idea there was this new invention out. Obviously, I don't pay much attention to fashion or fussing with hair products and doo-dads.

After experiencing hair straightening at the Hair Garage, which took about 40 minutes, I looked completely different. Suddenly, I looked sophisticated and put together like never before. It was like I gave a damn about my appearance. I really felt good about myself.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I have trouble walking around with my hair sleek and fashionable. It just seems so false to me. I've never wanted to color my hair for the same reason. I mean, I feel guilty using lemon juice.

My guess is if I spent more time digging to the root of my objections I'd find a completely unexpected problem. Pride. I'll bet anything that it has to do with my pride. I want to be genuine inside and out. I think people who have cosmetic surgery for purely vain reasons must be twisted and wrong.

Maybe they are.

But does that mean I am better than them?

When Life Was Normal...

My life used to be normal.

Then I started writing.

It was never the same after that.

My home used to be clean. My yard looked (a little) better. I organized and accomplished many projects. I walked by people without caring what their story might be.

Now my house is in peril of being over run by dust bunnies and dog and cat hair tumbleweeds. Moles and ground ivy have settled comfortably in my yard. I can barely hold one thought in my head before another over takes it.

And when I see someone, nearly anyone, I can no longer ignore them. I wonder about them. Sometimes, I think I might even care about them.

Scenes from the Summer

Liz grew these incredibly huge elephant ears from a tiny root.

The preying mantis grew up!

Results from the gourds - five pumpkins and two butternut squash.

Potatoes, Tomatoes, and Praying Mantis

All summer, this guy has been hanging out, literally, and has accidentally been in the house twice via laundry. Sure, it might not be the same one, but I'm saying it is. I was just reading about praying mantis on line and they have seriously strange procreation habits. You'll have to read about them yourself. Yuck.

I've harvested my first batch of potatoes. Aren't they cute?

I just have to figure out how to cook them correctly!

And not leave them out in the sun. Oops.

Compost Tea

It's the peak of summer. Watermelon, sweetcorn, iced tea, lemonade, peaches...

Midwesterners actually like living here this time of the year. We've so much to brag about.

To further the excitement, today was the day I emptied (mostly)my new composter and used it around my garden plants for that mid-season boost. It looked only ok. Not too impressive. In fact, a bit of a disappointment. However, if my plants suddenly take off again, I'll take that all back.

The label of my composter recommended making "compost tea." Always being intrigued by sun tea, my interest was piqued. Turns out, they are quite different. The label says to add "a little compost" to a gallon or two of water. Vague, isn't it? Perhaps it is like sun tea and it depends on how strong you like your compost tea. I went with about a cup of compost to two gallons of water. It came out pretty dark. Cool. The only hang up was some egg shells and roots got stuck in the spigot. Being the garden warrior that I am, I quickly adjust by yanking the roots out the spout. Problem solved.

First Fruits

About a week ago, the first cherry tomato was ripe. Each day, I walked by, watching its color change from dark green to a blush of orange to its eventual red. Only one more day, I thought, and I'd eat it!

No such luck. Liz beat me to it. She said it was delicious.

Harumph.

However, two days later, there was another one. So, I enjoyed the second ripe tomato of the season. Early - early July - imagine!

Second tomato. Sort of like second fiddle. Only more delicious.

Errol Flynn's Birthday

Today, Errol Flynn would be turning 101 years old. He died at 50 years of age.

How do I know this fascinating information? I just finished reading his autobiography, "My Wicked Wicked Ways." At the time, it was very scandalous as he disclosed his many affairs, allegations of rape, and ups and downs of acting, along with his "colorful" childhood and young adulthood.

What struck me is not that after attaining so much power, money, and women, he still was disillusioned. No, it was that this is a story repeated over and over and over. Now his story is the story of countless other men (and women) who sought fame and fortune and sexual freedom only to find it was hollow.

"Vanity, vanity, all is vanity." It's a timeless tale.

Errol's father was distant and his mother was, allegedly, cruel. He had a rocky relationship with both, but most particularly with his mother. He admits wanting to please her, yearning for a good relationship with her. He found faith in God challenging, though he yearned for it as well. Like so many others, he couldn't do the hard work of learning more, thinking more and self-examination. Instead, he went after the next "shiny thing" that came along. That what was before him, drew him. And he was deceived time and time again, but never did he try something differently, just different women, different thrills, and different homes.

Faith is a gift. What is it called when a gift is offered and never received?

Easy Homemade Pesto

How how I love basil. If I were a musician, I'd write songs about it. If I grew nothing else in my garden, it would be basil.

Through the wonders of enriched potting soil and plenty of rain, the basil grew quickly in the containers. Today was the big harvest. I didn't just double or triple this recipe, I quintupled it (is that a word?). I combined it all in a big container. It's marinating in the fridge. What I don't eat in the next couple of days (I hope it's not all of it), I'm going to freeze.

Here's the recipe (not quintupled):

Homemade Pesto

2 cups packed basil leaves (this is a lot!)
1/3 c. pine nuts
3 cloves garlic (I used 5 because I'm crazy that way)
1/2 c. olive oil
1/2 c. parmesan cheese (freshly grated is the bestest)
salt and pepper to taste

Put basil leaves and pine nuts in food processor. Let fly with lots of whirring. Then add the garlic. Whir again. Add olive oil, whir. Next, cheese and salt and pepper and - you guessed it - whir it all up together.

That's it! Since I'm rather imprecise, I added the ingredients in various orders and didn't notice any difference.

Serve with hot pasta, bread or giant spoonfuls!

Freezes well. Yes, you can freeze it in empty ice trays then pack in freezer bags for adding to soup, etc. all winter long. And do save some for the winter. You won't be sorry. Just try to remember that when you're ready to polish the whole batch off in one sitting.

Beet It

Today I planted 12 beet plants. It's almost like Schrute Farms, minus Dwight and his looney brother. It would be more interesting if they were around, but a rapidly blinding dog, a one eyed cat and a variety of other odd animals is about all I can take.

The beet plants were free. Along with 2 6 packs of iceburg lettuce the nursery was giving away were the beets. I've never grown them. We shall see how they turn out. It was cool because even the roots are a red color, with some pink.

A second planting of potatoes went in as well. I tried to harvest some "new" potatoes but they were too new, so on they will grow.

The other news is the fireflies are here! I love them. I think they've been here about a week. Now that I know that not every part of the country has fireflies, I think they are even better.

Roadside Berries

Free stuff is excellent. Then there is free fruits and vegetables, which sound a little frightening, like government cheese.

Yet every spring, the roadside bears a harvest. Just this week, I had my first free and super delicious strawberry, courtesy of...? Probably a bird left some seeds behind and that's how you too can find these little darlings. Just watch your step, birds like to leave behind poison ivy too!

Stick that in your Pot and Plant it!

Sure, it could be an insult. Or, it could be good gardening advice.

Those large pots that spill over with color, texture and fragrance can be intimidating to replicate. But, with a little practice, it's a lot of fun to make one up yourself. This one was particularly wonderful because I had some super big pots to use, meaning I could put in really big flowers!

St. Patrick's Day Peas

Liz said plant potatoes on St. Patrick's Day.

Immediately, I went to the nursery. Know potatoes. They said the tradition was peas. Since they had peas and I felt I had to plant something on St. Patrick's Day, peas it was.

And just look at the results. On or about Memorial Day, they were ripe for the pickin'. And they are delish!

Pumpkins in May

That's a pumpkin plant. There are now six plants in the ground. This is a "new" planting area for me - what used to be the burn pile. I mulched the area with a thick layer of leaves last fall. We shall see how they grow. Note burned branches around the plant. It's, in theory, to prevent likely damage from my idiot dog running through there. There are also potato plants growing out there.

Yes, it is exciting.

And, to note, the farmers planted the field today. What will it be? Soybeans? Corn? I'm rooting for corn!

Gardening: Man's First Profession

What was the first work man did? Think Adam. Yes, he was a gardener. It was his job, but it wasn't a horrible, boss-yelling-in-your-face-coworkers-forcing-you-to-eat-cake kind of job. It was a joy to garden.

Think of it - no thistles!

Probably the best soil ever, with its own irrigation system, right there in the garden.

It gives me the jealousy.

Today I made my third trip to the gardening center. I assembled a variety of flowers into HUGE pots. I'm not very good at it, but I do like it.

And I bought pumpkin plants. I can't wait to get those in the ground.

Gardening that is just planting and watering is just the best. It's like Eden.

Giant Butterfly

This was taken at the Franklin Park Conservatory. When you absolutely need a fix of Spring, this is the place to go. Spend a lot of time there. Smell the flowers, look at the landscaping and watch the vast numbers of butterflies.

Stop and Smell the Wildflowers

Some gardeners are precise. I am impressively imprecise. In fact, I'm just plain a messy gardener, doing things imperfectly, hoping for the best.

For instance, I've already made two serious gardening mistakes - one due to unpredictable weather, the other due to predictable weather.

Weed and Feed is not my favorite to apply to my lawn, but because ground ivy is aggressive, it is a necessity. However, the directions on the bag instruct to apply if a day or two after mowing, and not to mow again a day or two after. Also, not to water for 48 hours after. This is different from some bags that says that it should be watered in within 24 hours. In other words, "when the moon is in the seventh house and jupiter aligns with mars, apply weed n feed." And when I applied it, it rained 12 hours later, not as predicted.

Then there was my overeagerness to get the tomatoes in the ground. Amateur mistake. The May 15th frost-free date is for a REASON and I lost all my tomatoes, save one, on March 10th.

Spring wild flowers are in bloom, and it all comes in good time. No need to rush anything. Stop, enjoy the garden, and smell the wildflowers.

More Harbingers of Spring

(actually, I just wanted to use the word "harbinger")

Just down the road, wild strawberries grow every year. Last year, a late frost nipped them and there was nary a berry. But, they survived this last week's final (hopefully) frost. These berries are by far sweeter than the ones you buy in stores, and even challenge the yummy ones that grow locally. Perhaps that's the purest sense of describing something as "wild and delicious."

"Like Walking into a Hornet's Nest"

Except I really did.

Sort of.

Out walking the dogs, suddenly we were in the midst of a swarm of bees. Oh sure, it sounds like something a superhero would do, but this was me walking into the swarm. Apparently their queen had flown off somewhere because the drones seemed aimless in their cloud of bee mayhem. I knew I had to get out of there, but they seemed to be following me. And one of the dogs chose this inopportune moment to do some extracurricular sniffing.

With a little strong-arming, I got us out of there. How strange that when I looked backwards, I could no longer see the cloud of bees. Isn't that true that once we get some distance from a swarm of difficulties, it no longer seems nearly as troublesome or powerful.

That's as profound as I'm going to get today.

In Clover

If you are observant of growing seasons at all, you've noticed that some years are especially favorable to some plants and flowers over others. Whatever the weather condition might turn out to be, some years favor certain plants.

This year, the clover is flourishing! After mentioning this to a friend, he reminded me that his wife was the EXPERT, second to NONE, four leaf clover picker-outer. She could spot them a mile away (maybe not quite that far). She'd look at a patch, reach down, and pluck a perfect four-leafer. It reminded me that I used to be pretty good myself.

But what had I done for clover lately? Answer: nothing! I hadn't been looking! So, now I'm trying to make a conscious effort to look for the lucky four when I go by a patch. After all, it's a good year for clover.

And tics.

Grow them, Enjoy Them

Despite the blur, flowers growing in the yard are wonderful to enjoy. This year, however, the need to bring more indoors as often as possible was on my agenda.

So I have. And the house smells good. Yesterday, I cut a bunch of lilly of the valley (or pulled, no scissors were required) to have inside for today, which has been extremely rainy and dreary. There's still plenty outside to enjoy, but I see and smell them more often on my kitchen table.

Frost Free

May 15th. That's the magic date that northern Ohioans know darn well is the frost free date. After May 15th, get the tomatoes and all other non-hardy plants in the ground. Yet, we tend to push that date as much as possible. And it's not just gardeners, it's the farmers too, who believe that this proven adage won't apply THIS year.

That's why I planted my tomatoes last week. This morning there was frost on the ground. The tomato plants look awful. And that's why I'll be buying new ones this week.

Sumac Lemonade

Liz, the contessa of all things folkloric (I'm not sure if that's a word, but you know what I mean), walked through the woods today and pointed out to me many things I did not know. Like Jack in the Pulpit. It is one of her favorites and she found a giant one, seen here.

She also pointed out May Apples, which I've never known. She said that they get a small lemon colored fruit on them, which deer love, but people can also eat.

Then, and this is exciting, there's sumac. Not poison sumac. Sumar, that apparently can be made into lemonade.

Liz knows everything.

Involuntary Cilantro

If I had a punk band, that would be its name.

But I don't.

This morning, I was planting romaine lettuce and 16 tomato plants. As I went, I pulled weeds. Then I found an unidentified green object (UGO). It wasn't a weed nor was it a volunteer tomato or pumpkin vine.

So logically I ate some. Cilantro! Hooray! Just in time for Cinco de Mayo!

Farm Pond Intruders

Some people enjoy a backyard pond, or "water feature", that has numerous plants and even a koi swimming about.

Others have farm ponds. Some are acres and acres and some are just a little more than a mud puddle. My pond is 1/4 acre and it's pretty clean. Currently, there are two absolutely enormous amurs feeding on any algae or scum. This is good, because I like to swim when it's warm enough to do so. There are also bass, catfish, and bluegill in the pond. There are even two painted turtles I see sunning themselves from time to time.

Then there's my favorites - the frogs. The bullfrogs should be gearing up here soon to find their love interests.

But not every wildlife visitor is welcome. For instance, no geese, no ducks. The idea of them is nice, but they tend to be nothing but trouble! Fortunately, my dog Tilly chases them far away, swimming after them if she must (she has to spit the ball out first, of course).

Then there are the true villains of the pond. The snapping turtle. One was well on his way to my pond when he was spotted. He has since been carefully relocated, not unlike an illegal alien in Arizona.

Why Sabbath?

Many people look at the opening book of the Bible and wonder why God told man to rest. Later, in the 10 Commandments, one of the first things mentioned is to rest. Did God want us to sit around, doing nothing fun, thinking about Him? Is God a narcissist?

Also in the O.T., God instructs the farmers to let the land rest. The land can't worship God, so what's the point?

Perhaps God knows what's good for us. More than we do. So, He told us to rest. It's healthy for people, animals, and the land.

Yet, we are a country that is completely self-righteous about being busy. It is a source of pride. Recently, an author on a radio program mentioned that busy-ness is the "New Stuff." In other words, instead of accumulating wealth, chasing the dollar, adding stuff to the backyard, people now point to their crazy schedules to show how important they are.

An often heard question is "You keeping busy?" Try answering "I try not to" and see the response you get. Clearly, you must be lazy, or more strikingly, you are not important.

What do you think? Is Busy the poor man's currency?

Rhubarb Rhubarb Rhubarb

When I was in a couple of college theatre productions, one director told us that if our role instructed us to stand in the background "talking," we should mouth the word "rhubarb" or "banana." Apparently it was to make it look like natural conversational mouth movements. It just made me hungry. I wonder what the lip readers thought. In case you were wondering, sometimes I got real talking parts.

But it's May and that means if you have rhubarb planted in your garden, you now have LOTS of rhubarb. Growing conditions have been perfect and rhubarb is prolific. One day, I walk by my rhubarb patch, wondering if it will even come back this year, and the next thing I know, it's pouring over the railroad tie borders. Will the wonders of Spring never cease?

It's suggested that you harvest your rhubarb while the stalks are the size of your thumb. Most of what I harvested today is probably the size of SOMEONE'S thumb, but not mine (I have petite thumbs - what can I say? I'm a delicate flower). I chopped it into pieces and froze a whopping 8 cups.

While rhubarb crisp recipes abound, my favorite is Rhubarb Sour Cream Cake. It uses a lot of rhubarb, so if you don't have enough (huh?) add some strawberries.

1/4 c. butter
1 1/2 c. finely packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 T. vanilla
2 1/2 c. all purpose flour
1 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1 c. sour cream
4 c. rhubarb, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 t. nutmeg

Cream butter and brown sugar until fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. Sift flour with baking soda and salt. Add to creamed mixture. Fold in sour cream and rhubarb.

It will be gigantic and gloppy. You will think you screwed it up. You didn't.

Spoon into greased 9x13 glass dish. Mix sugar and nutmeg together. Sprinkle over the cake. Bake in 325 degree oven for 40-45 minutes or until cake tester is clean.

Suddenly it will look normal. And it will taste even better!